Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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