this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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