Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
