I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize