she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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