Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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