new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
