just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
