Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
