I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
