sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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