Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
