He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
