I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
