Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
