how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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