i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
