'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
