Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
