You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
