I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
