Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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