Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
