Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Rumble strips road head = magical
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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