halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
