so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
