And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
