her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
