Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
And then my night got REAL pukey
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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