If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
this is an emotional support booty call
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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