woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
