I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize