Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
