We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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