I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think my moral compass just broke
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
