Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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