Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
