Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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