She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
