strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
only you would photoshop your dick
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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