I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
