So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's blow job season.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
