great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
