Soap is not a condiment
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
