mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
