i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
