I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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