turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I love you. Go after that dick
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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