Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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