Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
