If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
