i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
