I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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