Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
