Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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