I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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