now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
well you can't waste a boner
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
