a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
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