Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
