I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
