it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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