i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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