nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
